Adam Sandler movie minefield

I cracked somewhere around “50 First Dates,” that Drew Barrymore/Adam Sandler romantic comedy about how she’s got a weird specific love amnesia and can’t remember anything that happens the day after it goes down. It’s great news for him, of course, because he can use the

Adam Sandler nice smile

same tired shtick over and over and she’ll think it’s awesome every single time. For the audience, it’s a reminder of what we already knew: Adam Sandler is never not Adam Sandler in any movie he’s in.

I don’t think “50 First Dates” was meant to cause anyone harm, but I felt like Sandler was

Adam Sandler wonderful photo

pelting my face with tiny pebbles every single second he was on screen. And there came a moment during the otherwise forgettable, unfunny dialogue when a character said, “I’ve had enough.” I turned to my viewing companion and said, “Funny, so have I.” Then we both got up and walked out.

But because it’s my job to watch movies, I couldn’t boycott his films and get away with it. So

Adam Sandler

along came “Click.” I try never to walk out of films I have to review (not that I haven’t done just that, without remorse), so I vowed to bolt myself to the seat until it was over. After using a magical remote control to fast forward through all the good stuff life has to offer (hot showers,

Adam Sandler

sex, eating) so that he can make more and more money, Sandler’s old-age-makeup-wearing protagonist lies in a rain puddle during a torrential thunderstorm and croaks out, “Family … comes … first!”
And I’d like to formally apologize to the two older ladies seated in front of me at that screening

Adam Sandler

because I’m sure I gave them an unnecessary jolt when my response was “HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!” during what was supposed to be the film’s poignant moral climax. I know I made them angry because they shot me a couple of really scrunched up faces and dagger-eyes.